Even if “imposter syndrome” is a new term for you, it may not be a new feeling. Many job seekers and employees experience this at one time or another. Have you looked at a job opportunity and thought “I meet all those requirements… but can I really do this job? Will they see through me in the interview?” Welcome to imposter syndrome! Before you pass on something that could be a really great fit for you, keep reading to see how you can manage and overcome this to your own benefit.
How do you know if you have imposter syndrome?
Impostor syndrome is the belief many people have that they are not as smart or capable as others think they are. They think everyone else knows more than they do. It’s that nagging feeling that you’re going to be discovered at any minute, and everyone will know you’re a fraud, a glorified child.
If that sounds familiar, you might even ask yourself if you’re good enough to have impostor syndrome!
Fret not, it’s pretty common. And it can actually be a sign of good things if you do feel this way! Typically, imposter syndrome is experienced by people who are either of higher intelligence or who work hard at their accomplishments, and is especially widespread among people that surround themselves with brilliance instead of ignorance.
Some even link impostor syndrome to perfectionism. We would say it’s the opposite of narcissism, where there is a typically undeserved feeling of brilliance or accomplishment.
Now that you know your impostor syndrome is pretty common (even in the executive suite!), let’s talk about how to overcome it.
Keep reading if you think there’s no fix…
If you’ve read this far, you’re clearly interested in coping with your secret impostor syndrome. And part of you might be thinking there’s no cure for it.
And you’re kind of right.
Some people have dug their heels in so deep that impostor syndrome is almost part of their personality! It’s extremely common in cultures where humility is such a strong part of child-rearing that it invades many aspects of adulthood.
1. Correct yourself any time an “I might” comes up
When it feels like impostor syndrome is a part of who you are, we don’t want to lie to you like others might… there might not actually be a fix, so to speak.
A solid starting point is to reframe some of your thinking in a way that is healthier. You may still feel nerves during job interviews or meetings, and that may never change, but you can cope!
One method you can try is correcting yourself when you think or say, “I might…”
- For example, your brain will tell you: “I might screw up this job interview.”
- You tell your brain: “I will probably succeed in this job interview.”
It still allows your brain to cope with the unknown, and it isn’t so sugary sweet that you’re trying to trick yourself, it just flips a negative to a positive in a realistic way.
2. Therapeutic intervention might help
In the late 70s, a pair of psychotherapists put together groups of individuals with “impostor phenomenon,” as they called the budding theory back then.
The groups were assigned homework to help them reframe their thinking, but it appears that grouping people together was the real magic ingredient.
A group setting can help people to feel less isolated in what may seem like unique feelings. Psychotherapy is something many have found to help them when being severely held back by impostor syndrome.
You can ask your current therapist or counselor for their recommendation, and you can search Facebook for groups on the topic (trust us, there are tons) and find your comfort zone among connecting with others who think as you do.
3. Pretend you’re Gordon Gekko
Gordon Gekko is a fictional character from the movie Wall Street who famously said, “greed is good!” He embodies the worst of exaggerated stereotypes of white male executives in America.
Remembering that he’s a fictional character, we would like for you to pretend you’re him when facing a struggle.
Gordon Gekko will apply for any job he’s at least 30% qualified for. Those of us with impostor syndrome will only apply if we are 100% qualified.
So, pretend you’re Gordon Gekko. Don’t be douchey, just turn it up in your brain when facing strife.
4. Pretend you’re Michelle Obama!
Does it feel too gross to be Gordon Gekko? Okay, we don’t blame you. Maybe Michelle Obama is more your speed!
In 2018, she said that she “still” has impostor syndrome. Still!? WHAT!? And as we’ve asserted, she says it hasn’t (and probably won’t) go away.
Her coping mechanism? Comparison! Honesty!
“”Here is the secret,” she advised, “I have been at probably every powerful table that you can think of, I have worked at non-profits, I have been at foundations, I have worked in corporations, served on corporate boards, I have been at G-summits, I have sat in at the UN; they are not that smart.”
Oh boy, I know *I* needed to hear that, how about you?
5. Jump into mentorship, stat
Just as finding a group setting so you know you’re not the only one feeling this way, finding a mentor outside of work can be productive.
Not only is a mentor invested in your success and isn’t in charge at your company, but it can also be helpful to have someone you trust to ask questions – a sounding board can provide clarity as to what is normal and what is not, in a non-threatening scenario.
Partnering with a mentor can also help you to reason out career moves before you make them.
Let’s say you’re going to ask for a promotion – a proper mentor will ask what you’ve done to deserve the promotion, how you have documented that, and possibly even ask you to practice your pitch to them, and then critique it. It is easier to assert your worth when someone you respect says you actually have worth.
There are proven methods for finding a mentor and being open to mentoring others can also be a tremendous boost while giving back. Join a mentor program for recent grads at the college nearest you or through an association you’re a member of and find ways to remind yourself that you might actually have something to offer!
6. Adopt a new mantra
Because impostor syndrome is often rooted in perfection, consider adopting a new repeatable mantra for yourself that can help when you’re struggling.
When deadlines arise, we may pick a project to death, discouraged when we cross the finish line that it won’t be as good as we’d hoped. In those situations, try one of these:
- “Done is better than perfect” is an old saying that has somehow been attributed to Sheryl Sandberg, but it matters not who said it. Just get your work done, buddy!
- Similarly, Voltaire said, “The best is the enemy of the good.”
- If you want the fanciest of mantras, Shakespeare opined, “Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.”
When it isn’t perfection holding you back, rather a general fear that you definitely don’t deserve that dream job, that raise, that promotion (or hell, accolades), repeat to yourself one of these:
- “Feel the fear and do it anyway,” author Susan Jeffers proposes.
- “This too shall pass” is a standard relief mantra that’s easy to remember.
- “I let go of things outside of my control” can empower you to reject your stress and focus on what is actually within your control.
- “I’m choosing to be happy” can trick your brain out of pestering itself during times of uncertainty.
7. Keep reading and listening, and apply what you take in.
Conquering impostor syndrome is not like taking an anxiety medication that calms your nerves. It isn’t fixed by a temporary moment of acceptance. It is a slow progression of improvement, slowly tricking your brain into a more positive mindset, even when you don’t think you deserve it.
If you’re interested in continuing this journey, there are tons of helpful sites, books, and podcasts on the topic to check out (which should tell you a lot, no!?):
- [Blog] Real stories of people with Impostor Syndrome
- [Blog] ImpostorSyndrome.com Blog
- [Book] Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- [Book] Ditching Impostor Syndrome – How to Finally Feel Good Enough and Become the Leader You Were Born to Be
- [Book] Why Do I Feel Like an Imposter? How to Understand and Cope with Imposter Syndrome
- [Book] The Middle Finger Project: Trash Your Imposter Syndrome and Live the Unf*ckwithable Life You Deserve
- [Videos] TED Talks on Impostor Syndrome
- [Podcast] The Impostor Syndrome Files
- [Podcast] Goal Digger’s episode on Impostor Syndrome
Remember: You’re not the dumbest person in the room, you’re simply someone with self-awareness who pushes yourself to achieve. Relish in that when you can and know that the people around you are extremely likely to be feeling the same way!